Saturday, March 29, 2014

Scenes from Vegas

The Husband Sighs:  "Must I play bodyguard for Jacqueline again?"


Wife:  Your cousin says I have really great taste.
Husband:  If that means you spend money like water.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Scenes from Electric Bounce House

Last Night:
Me:  "I am so excited all my favorite DJ's are going to perform together!"
Husband Totally Confused:  "Who?"
Me:  "Afrojack, Calvin Harris and Tiesto"
Husband Even More Confused:  "Who?!"
Me:  "EDM"
Husband:  "Wha..?"
Me exasperated:  "Electronic Dance Music"
Husband rolls eyes:  "Oh, the music that all sounds the same with that annoying thump that gives me a headache"
Me:  "Whatever, we are so going"

The husband is wearing his business casual attire at 6pm and I am dressed in a crop tank and cut-offs.
Husband:  "Where is the rest of your outfit?"
 I yell "You are not wearing that to an EDM concert!  You are so lucky I got you this t-shirt."
Husband stares at this fitted T-shirt emblazoned with "Life is Made of Small Moments Like These"
"I can't fit into that" he says.
"I don't care- you are so wearing this"  I scream.
Husband struggles into Medium size shirt and walks stiffly.  After an hour and a half sitting through traffic with husband driving uncomfortably in his fitted tee we finally arrive at SAP.

15 Minutes Later:
Husband:  "Is it over?  Is it over?  I can still hear the thumping"
Me:  "No, Afrojack didn't even come on yet"

30 Minutes Later:
Husband:  "I'm going to grab some snacks- want anything?"
Me Very Annoyed:  "No, go away"
He Comes Back with Chilli Cheese Dogs, Nachos, Churro, Pretzels and Pizza
The Ravers stare in awe as they suck on their pacifiers or chew gum ferociously

30 Minutes Later:
Husband: "Going to the restroom- are you going to be ok?"
Me Bouncing Up and Down to the Music:  "Go!"

30 Minutes Later:
Husband:  "Is it over?  Is it over?"
Me:  "Omg, this is so much fun!  I can't wait to see Calvin Harris and Tiesto"
Husband:  "I thought we were watching them for the last hour and a half"
Me- rolls eyes.

An hour later:
Me:  "I love Calvin Harris, I could listen to the song "Summer" forever
Husband:  "Sure feels like we've been listening to this forever"
Husband is the only one in the whole arena sitting for the past hours through the whole show.
Announcer:  "Tiesto has been in a serious auto accident and is being checked out by doctors and looks like he has to go to the hospital"
Husband sprints like he is in the Sochi olympics and is the first person out of the sold-out 18,500 seat arena.
Security:  "The show over already?"
Husband:  "Thank goodness" as he swallows a bottle of Tylenol

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Hakkasan Vegas Nightclub

So, every 2 minutes my husband had to come to the rescue of some guy trying to hit on his young cousin.
Husband: "Wow, this is exhausting.  This doesn't happen with just you!"
Me:  "What?!"  I yell loudly enough above the EDM music to make 3000 people turn and stare.
All the guys in the club are miming the cut it out sign to Michael and the girls are like "Girl!  He did not just say that, mmm mmm."  with their hands in his face.
His Gorgeous Cousin:  "Omg, guys this was so much fun, but can we go now."
Me to Husband:  "This is all your fault!"

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Rose. Rabbit. Lie.

Date & Time:  January 29, 2013 @ 11pm
Location:  Mezzenine Level of The Cosmopolitan Hotel in Vegas
Scene:  Girls in Little Flapper Dresses Accompanied by Gents in Suits
Vibe:  Gatsby Party
Music:  Eclectic Mix of Roaring 20's, Electronics, Hip Hop, Jazz
Decor:  Swanky, Intimate, Sophisticated.  Mansion w/ Study, Pool Room & Ballroom
Service:  Smooth, Polished, Accommodating
Imbibe:  Cocktails
Devour:  Caviar
Entertainment:  Amazing Group of Incredibly Talented Performers Dazzles

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Great American Music Hall

Saturday Night @ 6pm

Wife:  "You never take me out anymore"
Husband:  "I just took you to the new City Target"
Wife:  "That doesn't count, I hate you"
Husband:  "Fine, where would you like to go, dear"
Wife:  "Somewhere fun, surprise me"
Husband frantically searches SF Gate for something to do

Half Hour Later we Arrive @ O'Farrel & Polk &
wait in line behind 50 teenagers

Wife:  "Do we have to wait in line- it's freezing and it smells out here"
Husband:  "That's why we don't go out- we're too old for this"

Another Half Hour Later

Wife:  "Ooh let's stand by the stage"
Husband:  "I'd rather not- it is too loud and I can't stand for 2 hours"
We head up to the balcony to join the elder family members of the performers
Husband settles on to the chair and signs "Much better"
Wife:  "Let's order some food"
Husband stares hard at menu "I can't read this it is too dark in here"
Wife squints at menu "Let's just point to some things"

Grilled Artichokes & Rubbery Chicken arrives at our table
Wife:  "Is that what we ordered"
Husband:  "Guess so"

Wife:  "I can't eat this"

8pm Show Opens w/ Aijia

Wife:  "Who is she"
Husband:  "No idea, but she is very good"


8:30pm  Clara C graces the stage
Wife:  "Who is she"
Husband:  "No idea- she is also very nice"

We are groovin' to the music
Husband:  "I have to get up- my back is killing me"
Wife:  "Ooh, I am beat.  What time is it?"
Husband:  "9pm"
Wife:  "Are you sure?  It feels like 2am"
Husband:  "I can't wait to get home and sleep"
Wife:  "Me too, I am so sleepy" Dozes off
Husband:  "Do want to go out next weekend?"
Wife:  "No, thank you"